#well. whats the worst that can happen
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i made a cover for my gender playlist* and i think it came out pretty nice
current tracklist under cut, though i will be expanding it and welcome suggestions!
*a playlist that i think encapsulates what i want my gender to be :-)
🪩
Stayin Alive by Bee Gees
You Should Be Dancing by Bee Gees
Hot Cop by Village People
Love Machine by Wham!
Take on Me by a-ha
Down Under by Men At Work
Working for the Weekend by Loverboy
👢
Big Iron by Marty Robbins
The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie by Colter Wall
Sleeping on the Blacktop by Colter Wall
God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash
Daddy Sang Bass by Johnny Cash
Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash
Sixteen Tons by Johnny Cash
#autismsupersoldier originals#disco#disco ball#cowboy boots#disco aesthetic#70s aesthetic#trans artist#idk what else to add#im kind of sad right now so i appreciate any compliments#never be afraid that i will be creeped out or something i love when people say nice things to me!#maybe i should add the artists too so i can find others who like em but i dont wanna be annoying and spam the tag but. agh#well. whats the worst that can happen#wham!#bee gees#village people#a-ha#colter wall#marty robbins#johnny cash#men at work#loverboy#playlist
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Shadowvanilla with prompt 35
35. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
“You heard me!” Shadow Milk smiles sharply. His voice is playful as ever, but the glint in his eyes is deadly serious. Pure Vanilla listens closely as the mirth in his tone evaporates, that unearthly stare boring into him more intensely than ever before. “Take. It. Off.”
Subconsciously, the healer feels his hand drift towards his Soul Jam. It thrums with power beneath his fingers, simultaneous reassurance and warning pulsating through the azure jewel. It clings to his robes like it knows what will happen if it is removed, and Pure Vanilla finds himself shaking his head before he even realises what he’s doing.
“No,” he says, voice definite. Shadow Milk is capable of putting him through torture beyond comprehension, but Pure Vanilla will not falter. He can’t afford to, not when so much is at stake. He steels his gaze, tightens his grip, and offers a denial that can only be met with fury.
As expected, the world twists and warps around him, the warm, fuzzy edges of his dreamlike prison distorting into a tangle of blackened tendrils, creeping and twisting and grabbing. Pure Vanilla is safe when he’s awake. That doesn’t stop Shadow Milk from trying to convince him to surrender when unconscious. The Dark Side of the Moon is an otherworldly place; in a sense, Pure Vanilla wonders if he ever sleeps at all, anymore. He certainly doesn’t feel rested just then.
“No?” The jester echoes finally, head tilting eerily to the side. Pure Vanilla does his best not to shudder at the anger he feels emanating from Shadow Milk in waves. “Hmm. You know,” His voice dips into something between a purr and a growl, tracing his finger down Pure Vanilla’s jaw. The Beast is a master of deception, and Pure Vanilla knows as much. That doesn’t stop the urge he feels to lean into the first warm touch he’s felt in what feels like centuries. “This would be so much easier if you stopped resisting. So stubborn, Vanilly! I’d be impressed if it wasn’t so infuriating.”
The grip on his jaw tightens, and Pure Vanilla desperately hopes that determination masks the fear in his eyes as they’re wrenched towards Shadow Milk’s own. He’s too close, Pure Vanilla thinks distantly, sickening anxiety slithering under his skin. The scorching, gentle touch he provides is something the healer both despises and craves, and he hates himself for the latter.
“No matter,” Shadow Milk softens again, stroking against Pure Vanilla’s cheek. He should fight back. He doesn’t. “You’ll come around eventually.” The steady tick of a clock begins to echo in Pure Vanilla’s ears, unnatural and loud and far too damning.
“It’s only a matter of time.”
#thank you so much for the request!#it's been a while since i wrote these two heheh#this feels a little long for a drabble#but no matter!#it's under 1000 words#and that's drabble-worthy to me <3#pure vanilla cookie#shadow milk cookie#the sillies <33 they make me ill /pos#it is 2am and this makes very little sense but ykyk#hc that shadow milk can communicate to pure vanilla in his dreams via the dark side of the moon#this is what happens when u share a soul with your worst enemy <3#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#vanilla milkshake#cookie run kingdom#drabble challenge#if someone else requests these two as well i will weep with joy <33#crk fanfic
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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Have you been assesed for adhd?
nope, though im pretty sure i got it ... or its something similar bc although also not officially diagnosed there is no way im not autistic OTL
the only things i have been .. 'diagnosed' with is anxiety and chronic depression, though both of which by a therapist that got arrested for fraud and harassment (hahaha .. ._.) and im not sure how much weight that can hold both bc of .. THAT and bc i honestly have no idea how much a therapist can do (its been many years since then too) and the only meds he ever offered me where like .. drugs ('herbs')
i have been thinking of asking our family doctor about it but im rather afraid of whatever process i gotta go through to get anything that might help since im sure its also not JUST adhd that causing all this (and ... im afraid it could impact how i am treated ... like if they know im autistic are they not gonna take me seriously anymore or stop me from making choices about myself.. welp theres the anxiety ndfjkgndfknvgfdk)
(and a new therapist is pretty impossible bc theres a really big problem of not enough therapists around ESPECIALLY where i live ... also fear bc of the previous one .. haha ._, )
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#personal#i am german so whatever process it is in america is not gonna be how it is here#.....also doesnt help that i nearly got put in a ... mental health .. facility (idk what its called in english) when i was younger#and uuh .. barely managed to make them not do it#one of the scariest moments in my life#mom made the plan with my oldest sister in secret and drove me off to the doctor .. idk if they told me just before and forced me to go#or literally on the parking lot of the doctor .. i think it was the latter#being out on a parking lot and being talked down to by my sister (who never tried to talk to me about anything mental health wise btw)#AND by the doctor .. i had to convince him to not do it .. literally so scary#-and mom about putting me in some facillity .. cant even describe it .. to me it was pure horror#im sure those facilities arent that bad or soemthing but i felt like they where trying to kick me out and into a prison#i do NOT do well anywhere that isnt home#AND doing the thing i haven been trying to make it clear makes everything a thousand times worse-#-talking about it behind my back and then just doing things without me gettign any say in it and then given no choice#its literally the worst thing you can do!!!!#sorry TMI perhaps but!!! many things have happened!! bad!!
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dp fanfic ideas are getting to me again goddammit
#so like a typical giw facilities type thing with enclourses and all#but the ghosts keep escaping and so they commission the dr. fentons to make a weapon that calms ghosts#like an anathesia#BUT its the fentons so it doesnt work that way it actually just switches the fear of the ghost into what it wants. desires (NOT OBSESSION)#but what is the fear of the ghost in the moment? being stuck with the giw. so they calm down and let the giw take them and keep them#<- which makes it LOOK like its behaving as it should#so they use it more and more and the giw mass ghost kidnappings are becoming widespread- now successful#so set the scene. phantom teams up with some rouges and co to break some ghosties out#it works but the giw are hot on their trail and phantom-being a fenton-sacerfices himself for the team and is used as a distraction#(so the others get away)#BUT he doesnt fear being taken by them. fuckin hero complex kicking in and all#which means that when they use the gun. he isnt complict. at all#because whats his greatest fear? becoming a monster. and so. it flips. to what he wants.#and uhm. the giw arent there anymore#BUT as said before his obsession wasnt overidden so he cant hurt civilians and stuff#(his core rationalized the giw being a threat to peace and others safety so it uh. made an exception.)#but while he was taking them down he got shot again by the weapon. (a fruitless attempt really)#and uh. is being a monster is his (former) worst fear. pray tell what is the runner up to that?#people thinking hes a monster.#and yknow. he may not be able to harm innocents and good people#but he CAN pretend. really fucking well#and uh. yeah :) thats all i got and also some reactions by team phantom on it#<- some of the escapees and the rescuer ghosts saw the start of what happened to phantom while they ran#and considering the fact that they havent seen danny in a week? kinda concerning#(he swears he isnt avoiding them he just needs the time to set up he SWEARS-) meanwhile. hes lying to himself#someones priorities and mentalities switching doesnt necessarily change their morals or tolerances. just saying :)#yeah okay thats all i ACTUALLY got#really busy and will be busy and very tired rn so nothing may come of this#fanfictionfuckeries#<- starting a tag for this typa shit? more likely than ya think :)
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this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me
#yyh spoilers in tags#like major spoilers ok#which ig i dont usually tag but whatever#the if i had to choose between the world and you it's you thing happened. and it was KUWABARA like hhhhgghh#yusuke makes him forget his honor code sometimes and i need you guys to see that with me#bc it makes me wanna fling myself into the ocean over and over again#kuwabara literally is like you need to be alive bc otherwise im nothing idek who i am. please let me punch you#and he wails this multiple times#and yusuke would burn down the world himself if he thought it'd help his friends we all know that#and doomed by the narrative? mmm with the ever escalating world ending nature of being a spirit detective thats kinda there#throw in the sudden demon-human age gap post yusuke death 2 and you've got some narrative dooming in a way#but not enough for me to well and truly call them doomed by the narrative#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#ofc i can handle you at your worst thats basically you all the time is Very kuwa to yusuke#and maybe we can figure out what the hell ur problem is over dinner sometime is Very yusuke to kuwa#actually i should draw that. or make it a textpost or something#but like turning up the protectiveness/possessiveness thats already there with them in line with the whole#'ive watched you die' trauma they Both have means that like. i think they would Need to have each other around for a period of time#in the wake of sensui's bs perhaps. and then yusuke cuts it all off and they start to get a bit healthier about it. hm#i think about them all the time it's like if typicsl shonen rival/bestie homo-ness was kind of scary and painful#like they love each other but the ways they hurt each other and hurt over each other drive me fucking insane
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in a show about romance and more Bonnie really never once mentioned the word “engaged” or anything related to that
#lol.#Damon’s joke about how Bonnie is the bridesmaid never the bride really held weight bc well!#i feel like maybe people would understand if their fave character was thrown in a half ass relationship but theirs weren’t#it’s always the fans of big ships like haylijah delena etc etc judging when Bonnie fans hate Enzo Lol#bc you can’t imagine your fave character not being catered to bc it would’ve never happened to your fave lmfao. even in some women’s worst#pairings the woman was still loudly seen as desirable and cherished what does Bonnie get??? half ass relationship lmao#and it’s always ok Bonnie got less bc it fit with her but you wouldn’t argue that if it was your fave 💀#if this leaves my realm you can ship whatever you like that’s NOT what I mean here 💋
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im so used to surrounding myself with people who are fat/don't talk negatively about being fat (in any way) that when I see skinny people talk about 'feeling fat' im blown away and feel a bit like this
#ik people have their own issues to work through in this regard but as a fat bitch i don't wanna see it#i've worked too long to finally be okay with being fat to end up feeling like im actually gross bc of the way i look#you can think what you want about yourself yeah that happens but for the love of god don't POST it where fat ppl are gonna see it#super thinking abt the phrase fellow fat ppl say 'why is your worst fear looking like me?' like. mmmmmmm#personal#it's mostly tiktok bc. well. tiktok as ass about this stuff
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#that first gif... he is deadly#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#*#favorite#there's a full-length shot in this scene where you can see his belly. stretching the fabric of his shirt just above his waistband. ougghhh#trying to focus on how sexy this is but this episode was so. soft and suffering alan#once again everyone expects the worse from him. they ASK it of him for their own benefit#and he doesn't disappoint. he is the worst and he loses his temper and finds himself on the ledge again#when he storms out of denny's office so mad he can't even look at him. went home alone and furious and upset#drank himself to sleep for the first time in months if not years bc after a good run it feels like things are falling apart again#the way they always do. because that's what alan shore deserves#he thought it might be different this time. he thought well my parents didn't care about me. my wife died. I got fired. everyone leaves#maybe this time will be different. but now he's in the hotel room where he lives. without his best friend. about to be disbarred. stupid.#this was always going to happen because he doesn't deserve any better. they were all right about him. they were right to run away#everything is fixed the next day he and denny go on a field trip 🤠 but GD!!!!!#alaaaaannnnnnn 😭
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“I just don't like Gosho's use of ideas nowadays” do you have some examples? I’ve been feeling the same but I still don’t have like articulate thoughts on it
Well, 'nowadays' has been for. About ten years, ish? The most glaring example that always sticks out in my mind is the Sun Halo MK chapters, with the complete and utter waste of the very common fanfic tropes of 'Aoko gets suspicions' and 'Kid gets injured around someone'. But it kind of matches the general problem I have with his writing that I don't think used to be this bad: He's trying to stuff too much around the strict case-by-case structure (or for MK, introducing the heist-by-heist structure) without actually giving anything focus. (And for MK it's so much worse because he writes it so rarely, that he makes everyone cameo every time but they tend to just get hand waves to whatever drama plot gets instigated by Kid having his next heist.)
For DC, it's the whole. 1) Overarching plot with the BO and suspects and 'here's the available suspects for who's involved with the BO that we introduce one at a time at the end of cases and then maybe leave more clues about them during future cases'. 2) Dangling character or relationship progress and then constantly pulling it away, usually as a joke. 3) When we do occasionally get some of the major plot, it's all at once and then maybe mentioned once in the next case, but otherwise completely dropped. (Amuro and Akai and Kudo tea party tease also lingers as a 'Gosho is just evil at this point'.) Basically rigid structure that doesn't allow for much of the subplots aside from breadcrumbs.
For the current situation, it's also tied into interview comments. Which. have no bearing on the story until he actually uses them. But instead of even that, the movie gets exciting stuff instead and puts it in a giant limbo of is it meant to be canon or not, because no one has been able to settle on that for any movie, even as some details get connected back to the manga more and more.
It's bad writing. Gosho has been a bad writer for a long time, and it's kinda just getting worse. It's my opinion that it's because he tries to have his case after case after case (because mystery manga), and then stuff little bits of everything else in the seams, whether it works well with the case he's writing or if it's a good delivery or (more usually) it's just. Kinda tacked on.
It's partially because of time investment, partially because I have low standards of entertainment, and partially because I want to see how it all ends that I stick with DC. MK is. Similar, but hurts more because I really hate how it morphed into the DC structure when old MK had more you could do with it. Gosho will never drop his rigid case-by-case structure at this point, but it really would be better if he did at this point. Things need development that they're not allowed to have. Or at least smooth out the lines between his hints. And stop with Heiji and Kazuha, just. God. Stop. Is this how people felt about Kid appearances? I feel like at least when people were mad about Kid, they knew nothing was going to happen from the get go, the romance 'tease' is just painful.
#dc thoughts#It's really just a general feeling that I know Gosho /can't/ write drama that well#The writing style he's picked really doesn't allow him to; whether he /could/ write it well or not#So I don't like him going for an idea that sounds like a fanfic idea#Because it's never going to be as fun to watch as just. A fanfic. Because fanfic writers don't have to stick to genre or anything#/They/ can take time to explore character dynamics and implications and direct continuation of the idea into multiple chapters#Gosho literally /can't/ do it. At best; it's okay. At worst; it makes all the characters look so much worse#Because the characters are smart or dumb to allow whatever situation Gosho wants to happen /right then/#Because he can't wait too long to properly build up fun little ideas; he just smashes them in and moves on#(The Fairy Lip heist is also lingering. Most of what sticks in mind is Kid; as per usual)
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#datv spoilers#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#datv critical#i think what most like. gets me here.#is not that this game was a misfire. it's whatever even i did find it diasppointing overall#i thonk what i much more disturbing to me about it is just how much this feels like a death knell for the IP that i love#we'll probably get more but i expect it will have the same like. sanitized marvel-esque feel#and none of the soul that made me love it in the first place#very sad to have to watch this thing i've adored and that has been with me through so many difficult experiences#that brought me together with lifelong friends#have to die this kind of a slow death and just get hollowed out#*sigh*#tho tbh it's kinda shocking it's lived this long as well as it has#the ea purchase was really what spelled the demise it's always been a matter of time for bioware#and dragon age had a target on it as soon as it got traction and popularity#not that bw has ever been blameless in a lot of these choices just that EA is arguably one of the worst corporations overlords to have#and i don't think think the environment for bioware to evolve into what it could have been has ever existed since that happened#dao was a game that existed in the same vein as the orginal nwn and kotor and bg#that's what bioware's bread and butter always was#and for all that i have a lot of affection for mass effect i think it set a precedent for moving away from that original winning formula#and instead of expanding in new ways or building from both models or whatever#it's just gotten smaller and more dumbded down and more constricted#and bg3 is the closest a recent game has gotten for me to that old feeling and even that had its off notes#i just feel ick about it all. im not giving up on the possibility that this is a ship that could get turned around#but i just....i have reached a point of acceptance that i may never feel deeply enthusiastic or passionate about these games again#no one can take what ive had with the first 3 but#it really sucks that i just kind if have to resign myself to that
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i really wanna give podd a round of applause bc he’s managed to make ter a character that i hate so specifically and immensely
#I don’t even know what it is#like in the grand scheme of bl he’s not exactly the worst guy out there#he’s just so…. that type of guy yknow#idk if it’s bc im preping for the eras tour next week but he’s the kind of guy Taylor swift could write about very well#just like… small and annoying and selfish and too confident for his own good#just self important typical man to a T#the fact that Dee’s confession makes him feel good like look at me receiving love that makes me feel great and important#but im not going to return any of that#instead I’ll only start acting like I care when there’s the possibility im not his favourite anymore#even though I have no right to that place#and as soon as I decide that I want to be his favourite again im going to make it happen with no respect for how Dee actually feels#and my god the way he makes yak feel so unimportant#by making him think knowing Dee for longer gives him this huge advantage#when time doesn’t mean shit when your actions for all that time have done nothing for Dee#yak has more care for Dee in his little finger than he does#and it’s the way he just meddles in to this situation all self important when it has nothing to do with him#and expects Dee to just fall at his feet like… ugh#he’s just the worst#well done podd for showing how men can be pricks#wandee goodday
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I just came up with a wack Twst fanfic idea with SVSSS's isekai concept.
What if MC gets isekai'd to Twisted Wonderland,
not as Yuu/Player,
But as Dire Crowley.
#BONUS POINTS IF MC WAS LIKE A TEACHER IN THEIR WORLD TOO WHO HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR KIDS#BUT THEY CAN'T SHOW IT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE OOC 😭#MC (in DC's body) talking to Yuu and Grim: of course. this rundown dorm is all yours. for i am gracious after all.#MC (inner thoughts): if dire crowley was in my world. he'd get his teaching license revoked. what the hell is wrong with this man.#oh well what's the worst thing that can happen?#...#oh fuck i forgot about the ghosts#*insert screaming from a distance and fire blazing from the windows of ramshackle*#svsss#twst#twisted wonderland#scum villain#scumbag system#scum villian self saving system#dire crowley#mxtx crossover#twst crossover
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woe.
#tazsona#doodle#the worst things ever (being told not to do something that wasn't what was asked of me) are happening to me right now. so sad.#this is a joke you are allowed to tell me not to do random bullshit on your commissions if you commission me. I'm like mildly disappointed#at absolute worst. I can always just do a second version where I do what i want and all LMAO#but like. well i wanted to do that...#joke
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Ok so i know it would be half impossible but do you think kenfies could be toxic yaoi but if you made clonefies unknowingly toxic as hell because hes never been told and whatnot and ken is just like so idk protective? That she doesnt realize the consequences?
#probably ooc for them but thats what toxic aus are for or smth#kenfies#kenifies#ill tag both#do i tag the character tags?#idk i need answers out here man#i cant just stick to my non tagging terrified life when i need me some knowledge#oh well whats the worst that can happen#kenadian#wifies#yall would not know the sheer amount of spelling mistakes i had to correct in this post alone 💀
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A woman got angry and started shouting in the clinic lobby today because she saw me, a doctor, leaving after finishing work, and she was the final patient of the day for another doctor who had yet to call her in
Shoutout to the healthcare assistant who asked her what room her ticket number was and then laughed in her face and said, "What's that got to do with you? Doctors leave when they finish seeing patients."
Karen thought nobody could leave until she was seen despite there being five other doctors in the clinic this afternoon apart from hers
#She stood there glowering at the staff doors as I continued walking to drop off my scrubs lol#well she wasn't the worst today#there was a daughter of an elderly patient who started getting hostile in the consultation room at me#because I was explaining an issue...that we were following up her mother for...and other specialties weren't...#then she got angry that different specialties followed up different things and asked me what ONE issue her mother had#and implied that we must be lying because her mother can't have multiple problems#Patients can have multiple concurrent illnesses I tell her#especially at 75.#she shut up after that#medicine#personal#medical happenings#doctor#my post
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